So believe it or not I am officially past half way of my mission.
Do you have any idea how crazy I currently feel?
there is a reason our mission president has Red Zones!
Wednesday we had interviews with our mission President!
Thursday we had a wonderful district meeting and then a great day!
Friday we had some appointments and went to different parts of our Area
Sunday I gave a talk about raising an eternal family. my companion gave her farewell testimony along with both elders. late at night President called me and said that there is a visa Waiter coming for a few weeks and she needs to be close to the airport. so He is reassigning me to claremont meadows for the next transfer. so thus I move yet again!
I LOVE MISSIONARY LIFE SO MUCH! I HONESTLY WANT NOTHING BUT TO SERVE THE LORD AND MY FELLOW MAN.
I know I said i was going to be 100% honest with the blog posts to express the honest side of serving with previous mental health issues.
To be honest I have been blessed my entire mission thus far. I have never been happier, or has this much energy.
I am the last person to admit to struggling, honestly. But the past few week have been really tough, I really didn’t want to admit this, specially to anyone who knows me personally back home.
I haven’t felt so consistently anxious in a very long time. It is hard to go out and talk to people all day everyday when your stomach is permanently in a knot, and you feel sick all day. But you force yourself to move forward. you pray and do a Mild Enos at every given chance to have strength. your sleepless nights (because everyone knows i suck at sleeping) become a weird blurr of thoughts on what to do better, how you need to improve and all your shortcomings. What are a lot if you’ve seen my height. (some humour to lighten up the mood?)
Appetite drops, and nothing seems to kill the anxiety. But you know that this something you have to deal with. Its scary and weird. Something you know need to try push through but the shaking hands and occasional crying that you manage to somehow conceal from your companion doesn’t help.
you cannot help but feel completely ridiculous Because you love being a missionary, and you love everything about it. But the anxiety is there and it makes everything harder than it should be. I hate it, honestly. the constant pain in the stomach and heart pounding. It feels mildly never-ending. But I know that the Lord will provide a way. I am here for a reason. I will do what I can. I know the Lord will help me make all the right choices!
I love you all very much, if times are hard, stay close to the Lord