Be still, my soul.
The silence was once a thing I despised, I needed sound. something; music, television, movies, people, anything as long as space was filled with something. But why was there something to fill?
As years passed and life changed I worked through private issues and other circumstances in my life. To name a few; depression, anxiety, lack of self-worth, mental clutter, toxic people, and other things that come throughout our personal lives. No one is perfect, no one is immune to the messy reality of living. However as I became more comfortable and accepting of where I am, who I am, and the circumstances I would find myself in… the more I organized my brain and faced my challenges head on. As I stopped ignoring things that were limiting me and embraced them as to resolve them. The less I needed the distractions of the world to block out the parts of me that aren’t settled.
Distracting one’s self from mental chaos with chaotic noise is common. We disconnect from our emotions, we disconnect from ourselves because we are ‘connected’ in a world of blurring noises, notification alerts, and funny online videos. The world bustles around us. Rarely are streets quiet. We forget to simply exist, to take inventory, to evaluate where we are, and where we intend to go. We miss all important red flags and warning signs our body, mind, and spirit is trying to give us.
As I stopped masking and distracting my brain from things I didn’t want to deal with, and openly invited them to the front of my conscious thoughts I grew as an individual. I found out who I was as a Daughter of God, and started to accept myself in my imperfections and strived to overcome them… Slowly the way I viewed things changed. I no longer filled moments with mindless ‘stuff’ … I became comfortable with my thought patterns and acknowledged the ways I could challenge negative thoughts and slowly the silence became my healing time, my time to work on myself, to focus and to feel the spirit and to receive guidance.
I no longer feel the need to fill something that does not need to be filled.
Does this mean I don’t watch TV? of course not… but I do not have it on aimlessly in the background, or waste time in front of the screen.. it is probably the last thing I even consider doing (this includes Netflix and movies)
Does this mean I don’t listen to music? Of course not… I only ever turn it on when I consciously choose to listen and when I am going to focus on it… or on excessively long journeys. But in the background, as I do five other things.. probably not. I like to focus on the things of importance.
Becoming comfortable with myself, becoming comfortable with silence has become one of the best feelings of freedom I have experienced. To feel at peace with myself and the progress I make. Although I do not always progress at the pace I would like or overcome all obstacles in a timely manner. I accept it as it comes (not perfectly I may add. I get stressed, I get anxious, and I get impatient) But I can now accept things as they come and find ways to work from where I am to further myself in my personal journey as I traverse this adventure we call Mortal life!
I hope we all are able to become mindful of ourselves in a world that aims to disconnect us and distract us. That we may be able to find more happiness and Peace in a world where is seems near impossible to find.