Lessons of a Wedding Ring

This world is full of symbols, some private and some public.P1110680

One of the most internationally recognised is that of a ring on one’s left hand.  symbolising to the world Love and loyalty to the person they have committed themselves to.

However what happens to these symbols as time goes on?

I have inherited one of such rings, the Engagement ring of my Mother to my biological Father, but as many people are aware my Mum is married to this wonderful man I am blessed to call my stepdad.
So this ring belongs as a symbol of a previous marriage, and I wear it on my right hand.
this has raised many questions in the months I have worn it more frequently.
When I explain what the ring is, I get mixed responses… I guess people seem to find it sad or a little strange. However, although this ring no longer symbols Love, commitment and loyalty to another Person, this ring stands daily as a personal Reminder of the things I learnt earlier in life from observing my parents relationship, and specifically my Mother. Who through example as taught me a lot.
Understand Love
Understanding Love is something that I find personally an essential part of life.
Learning how we as individuals first recognise and understand the presence of Love in our lives. Knowing that there are more ways to express and receive love than to have someone state it, and to know what we as an individual need to recognise it’s presence.
Hand in hand with that is understanding that everyone is different and that those around us may not recognise love and appreciation the same way we do and learning how to express love to those around us in ways that they can feel and understand.
However we must also understand that at times through no fault of our own, some people struggle to recognise love, appreciation, and affection in any form. This can be due to many different experiences through their personal lives, and we must not take that personally. Nor should we stop expressing love towards the person, although at times it may be incredibly hard because we feel as though all efforts are in vain, and that they don’t love us in return. However, if they can’t recognise love, they are probably incapable of expressing it. You can work through it, and you can be Happy. you just have to be prepared to put the effort in.
Put your best work in, no matter what it is, relationships, study, family, friends, work, and in all aspects of life. Give your best in those circumstances. Your best may differ from day to day, and what you are capable of will change. But always give it. Try to make things work even if you feel like your efforts are failing. Keep trying, Keep finding new ways to make it work. The best things in life are not easy. They will take sacrifice, time, commitment and effort. Sometimes more than we think we have, but if you keep trying and give it all you have. You’ll be surprised what you can achieve.
You’ll be at peace knowing you have done all that you can, so when things don’t work out. You will have a clear conscience,  that sometimes despite your best efforts things won’t always go the way you hope.
Work with the Lord
As we do all that we can in life, and put our best foot forward, we need to realise that we cannot do everything alone. The Lord will aid us, give us options and help us build on that which we are already doing. We cannot make it through the manic journey that is life alone. We need our Father in Heaven and He will help us. However, He cannot do it for us. That would break His own law of agency and His desire to see us learn although He would love to save us from heartache and pain.
We must pray like it is all up to Him, and work like it is all up to us. Miracles, can and will happen!
and sometimes things still will not work out how we hope, not because God doesn’t care… or because we have not done our part. But other factors, including things just not being right for us and our future. Other people and their agency… the list could go on forever.
However, in moments of darkness when we feel we can’t do anymore. When things don’t go to plan and we feel hopeless, and we blame ourselves. He will be there with us. He will uplift us and strengthen us. He will comfort our souls, and give us the courage to press on and accept that which we cannot change.
Life is not perfect, things change and fall apart, but with help from the Lord and our own conscious choice, we can learn to accept the things in life as they come, or as they may sadly they go.
People we may want around forever may leave. career paths may come to a sudden halt.
This does not make all of that event, person or situation bad or wrong. There is more than likely good and bad amongst it all.
We need to accept it as it is, embrace the good memories, and keep the reality of the bad.
as my mum once said about her relationship with my Father “it wasn’t all bad, good example. I got you didn’t I ?!” However of course in the Long term the bad, or the personal directions of these individuals didn’t align.. and that did outweigh the good. We must embrace things as they are. Take off the rose tinted glasses (or in some cases, black tinted) and accept the reality. Don’t regret those things. Forgive where we can, and learn. Then prepare for what will come next.
                                            Move forward
P1110692Never stop progressing, always have goals, and look into the future .. but do not spend all your time so far in the future that you forget the present. Set goals, make plans and be prepare to give 110% all over again, with the open knowledge and acceptance that it may go wonderfully or it may not. But no matter how it goes, do it. Move forward and embrace the messiness that is life. Don’t be too afraid to be vulnerable and raw.
Be Vulnerable
Don’t give up opportunities when they scare you. Turn to the lord, find courage… grasp the bull by the Horns. Give 110% and be honest. Express those concerns, express your dreams and hope to someone you trust. A friend, a family member, or significant Other. Most importantly express them to the Lord.
Be prepared to feel out of your comfort zone, and keep on moving forward. Knowing that better things May come.
A brightness of hope
Be prepared that the Lord has better things in store than we can ever imagine.
My mum for example probably was not expecting to meet her wonderful eternal companion after ending a 16-year relationship with my Father. However, the man she deserved came along, the man of her dreams… although not a perfect human being… they are working on it.
Life in the future will never be perfect. However, there will be joy and happiness in it, even when we cannot see it at the present time. Know this, hold onto it and keep pressing forward giving your all… and one day you will look back and see how far you have come and how you have progressed. You will be thankful for those curve balls that came your way when even at the time you felt as though your world was crashing around you. You will understand those learning experiences better and you can feel at peace with your past. The good, the bad, the glorious and the ugly.
then you’ll look to the future and feel as though the task at hand is more than you can achieve. Take a moment, look back. You came this far. Now look to the future… if you could go through all that you have. Of course, you can accomplish this!
I hope we are all able to keep progressing, to apply all that we have and to see that bright future ahead even if we feel our world crashing around us.
I have my reminder of these things every day, a symbol of strength and hope.. in a ring once worn by my mother, a woman who has taught me so much without saying a word of it.




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